He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
