we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
