So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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