I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Are we still banned from the library?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
