We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
