Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
