He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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