and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
