can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
