Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize