We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
