If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
