So drunk its hurt
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
