they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Soap is not a condiment
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
