wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
