3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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