She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
foreskin is a definite game changer
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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