i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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