At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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