I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize