I hate your face
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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