Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
