dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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