Rock
Scissors
Fuck
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
