hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
