i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A+ Viking dick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
