They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
