Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
