How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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