I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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