I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
