I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
