Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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