I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
