Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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