I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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