I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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