the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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