yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
