Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
