you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
