Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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