sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize