'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
