Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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