My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
then he tried to convert me to islam
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
