Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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