M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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