The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
