he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
