he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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