this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize