Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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