I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
