I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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