You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
