Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
