Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
