He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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