i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
do herpes really smell.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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