I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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