You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
