Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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