he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
